Let It Be

Balance is something I struggle with – every single day. It’s in fact something I’ve probably struggled with my whole life, because of my personality. I want things done. I want them done right. I give my all. I’m always being pulled in a million different directions. As a creative brain I always have a million ideas. I multitask like crazy.

I kinda went into a mini meltdown mode the other day. I realized I wasn’t going to get my new products finished for the week. My house was a disaster. I had a million and one things on my to-do list for the day and only about 3 of them marked off. The day, even the week, felt like a total let down, like I hand’t accomplished anything I needed to. I felt lame, like I accomplished nothing.

As I’m running around frantically trying to pick up my living room, I realized I should open the door and let some air in. I think it did me some good. It struck me that no matter how hard I worked for the rest of the night, I unfortunately would not get my work done in time to meet this weeks deadline. I realized that yes, my house was a wreck, but it could be cleaned, the clutter could be picked up and put away – even if it wasn’t in the time frame I may want. You can bet I still spent the rest of the night cleaning, and working – but in a less manic state at least.

It’s a personal goal of mine to try and not let myself get to this state as much. I realize this is part of who I am, and it’s not feasible for me to say “never” – but I can try to at least try to catch myself and not let myself get quite to that point. To know when to step back, take a breath and realize I will do what I can, and accept the fact that the rest will have to fall into place accordingly.

It’s funny to me that this is pretty much my exact personal fitness mantra that I adopted at the beginning of my fitness journey (“Today I will do what I Can”) – but why is it so much harder for me to accept it in other areas of my life? No idea. As for tonight, still behind on work, but my front door is open and I’m feeling halfway OK with not being “finished”, because really, does the work ever end? Not with 3 kids it doesn’t.

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